And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
