Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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