okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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