he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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