she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
