There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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