Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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