Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just want nice things and good sex
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
