god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
