miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
