I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
