where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
