can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
