recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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