She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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