So drunk, too bad you don't want this
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
