Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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