im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
North Korea, Best Korea!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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