I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
