I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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