HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
