i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
whose parrot is this?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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