i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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