dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
