Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
