I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
