Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
