Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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