Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
