i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
