Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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