Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
do nipples grow back?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
