I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Randomize
