Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
