my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize