so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
