So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
