he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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