i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
