Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Randomize
