I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
