I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
