If i come over, it means nothing
Yo dont text me then not text me
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
