Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize