I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
