Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
