fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
