Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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