Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
ttyl tear gas
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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