just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
