therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
