reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
