I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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