I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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