My brain says no but my pants say off.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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