he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
