Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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