Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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