did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
